Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Laff Along with Lucifer!

The first official Jules White/Satan co-production, Kids Will be Kids, was unleashed upon unsuspecting audiences in 1954, most cruelly just weeks before Christmas. Thousands were left maimed by the experience, with the mildest of aftereffects being severe stomach cramps and vomiting. To be fair, people had been warned. White had announced his on again/off again partnership with the Lord of Darkness many years previously when Satan began contributing gag material to numerous Three Stooges shorts (most notably the delightful Climbing Spike In the Eye gag from They Stooge to Conga (1943)). By the early 1950s, the uncredited Lucifer had begun sharing production duties on several Columbia comedy series and, at least confidentially, took full credit for the 1957-59 Stooge shorts with Joe Besser. But Kids Will be Kids stands alone as Beelzebub's finest hour at Columbia, featuring as it does the triple whammy of shockingly untalented child performers, a wretched script, and dogs being yanked around by wires. In its own shameful and diabolical way, the film is a masterpiece. Scientists have determined that there is no three second stretch of Kids Will be Kids that does not induce profound pain and scarring. Jules White's technique of having each child awkwardly repeat verbatim his own read of each and every line was painstakingly developed over many years to achieve maximum injury. Can your heart stand the shocking facts about... KIDS WILL BE KIDS???

Part One

Part Two

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6 Comments:

Blogger East Side said...

You'll have to tell me how it ends. Once the kid was going to give his little brother sulphur and molasses, I had to check out.

Didn't Jules White direct the Metro "Dogville" shorts? He must've remembered the old dog-on-wires business.

4:06 AM  
Blogger Aaron Neathery said...

The second reel is almost pure dog humiliation.

9:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For many years I believed the worst Columbia short to be the 3 Stooges "Cuckoo on a Choo-Choo" ... I have now seen what must be THE worst Columbia 2-reeler of them all.

Thanks ... (I think)

5:55 PM  
Blogger East Side said...

"Cuckoo on a Choo Choo" was Larry's favorite Stooges short because it gave him, he said, a chance to impersonate Marlon Brando in "Streetcar Named Desire." I think it was the torn t-shirt, 'cause I can't remember anything else Brandoesque about his performance.

5:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sally Jane Bruce filmography: this movie, and "Night of the Hunter." No wonder she quit after this. Where could you go from there?

7:05 AM  
Anonymous online movies said...

This is not so good. I have watched all the parts but didn't find it interesting one. Anyways thanks for posting.

6:49 AM  

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