Incredible awesomeness...

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(Almost) Every Single Bowery Boys Titlecard

1946 to 1958.. Big bands to rock and roll.. The longest running feature film series of all time. 48 films in all. And the Three Stooges were the hardest working comics in film? Don't believe it, gang. Leo Gorcey and Huntz Hall produced, incredibly, four of these a year (FIVE in 1946!) for Monogram and, ultimately, Allied Artists. The three missing titles are Ghost Chasers (1951), No Hold Barred (1952), and Hot Shots (1956).. and if anyone wants to trade for those, contact me.

"Oh, Lackaday and Misery Me!"

Isn't the internet wonderful? Here, in its entirety, is His Royal Highness (1932) starring George Wallace, Australia's most popular comedian of the late 20s and early 30s. The film fits neatly in among such better known depression-era "crazy kingdom" comedies as Duck Soup, Million Dollar Legs and Cracked Nuts (did I say better known?). Wallace himself is an engaging and often endearing comic who shares much in common, both in looks and style, with Hugh Herbert. And yet he dances like Bert Wheeler. Amazing.

Sammy Petrillo, 1934-2009

SAMMY PETRILLO DIED THIS PAST SATURDAY, AUGUST 15th AT THE AGE OF 74.

THE FOLLOWING WAS WRITTEN IN JANUARY, 2007 AFTER COMIC BOOK WRITER/EDITOR PAUL CASTIGLIA MET ACTOR/COMEDIAN SAMMY PETRILLO AT A NEW YORK COMIC CONVENTION:

Over the weekend, Sammy Petrillo, the infamous Jerry Lewis impersonator who co-starred with Dean Martin-esque partner Duke Mitchell and famous film fiend Bela Lugosi in "Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla" was a guest at the Big Apple Comic Con in NYC.

I was at the con for 2 hours, mostly waiting around for Larry Storch, who never showed up while I was there (but he is supposed to be at a show in March, so I'll try again then). So I kept finding my way back to the "celebrity signings area" to check for Larry Storch, and wound up talking to Sammy Petrillo each time. Here are the highlights of our conversations:

ON BELA LUGOSI: Sammy said Bela was very "grandfatherly" and treated him like what he was - a kid (Sammy was 17 at the time they filmed the movie).

He also said that Bela was the utmost professional, and he never saw him using drugs of any kind. He said when Bela makes the big long speech about evolution and embryonic metamorphosis (which Sammy proceeded to recite a little of for me himself... in Bela's voice!), that Bela did it perfectly and in one take, and everyone on the set applauded afterward.

Sammy also relayed a story about an apartment or annex Bela had built for his son, but I missed the details because there was a lot of surrounding chatter at this point.

ON DIRECTOR WILLIAM BEAUDINE: Sammy asked if I knew what his nickname was, and I said sure, "one-take Beaudine." Sammy said that it wasn't because he was necessarily bad or watching the budget, but that he knew how to set-up stage scenes so well and prep the actors before rolling the cameras that no further takes were necessary.

Sammy also said that "comics loved working with Beaudine" because he would just let the comics go, encouraging ad-libbing. Sammy admitted that they didn't have much of a script on "Brooklyn Gorilla" and most of what you see was ad-libbed. You can see a lot of this ad-libbing in Beaudine's East Side Kids/Bowery Boys films, too.

Speaking of ad-libbing, there is a scene in "Gorilla" where Sammy slaps Bela on the back real hard, and Lugosi looks startled and a bit angry by the slap. I asked Sammy about that, and he said, "I probably ad-libbed that," stating that he was a kid (implying that he hadn't given thought to the fact that it might hurt Lugosi). Of course, the results are on film, because after his initial reaction, Lugosi the pro finishes the scene without missing a beat, so Lugosi probably wrote it off to Petrillo's being an impetuous youth.

ON BEING A NIGHTCLUB COMIC AT AGE 16: Sammy said that kids were allowed in nightclubs as long as they didn't drink. He said that back in those days he was unique because "kid comics" were all but unheard of. In fact, he said most comics were "men," so there weren't even a lot of "young men" comics working the clubs at that point (as opposed to now, where there is a slew of stand-up comics in their '20s). He also said they didn't call it "stand-up comedy" back then... you were just a comic. He said that the men comics were referred to as "funny men," as in "he's a funnyman." He said people would tell him, "You're a funny kid... one day you'll be a 'funnyman!'"

Sammy confessed that he used to steal other comics' jokes and acts (I replied, "Coming from you, that's an understatement," which made his manager laugh heartily). But Sammy went on to say that it backfired a bit, because he'd start telling wife and mother-in-law jokes he'd heard other comics do, until finally someone said to him, "you're 16 - stop with the wife & mother-in-law jokes - it doesn't work!"

ON DVD'S OF "BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA": He kept saying how much he liked the Digiview DVD of his movie, and that he couldn't believe it was only a $1! He was also impressed with the printing on the disc itself (on both Digiview and the Alpha release). He mentioned the Image disc that has the interview with him - "it was $20 when it came out but you can probably get it for less now." He signed the paper insert sleeve of my Alpha DVD but accidentally wrote, "To my Paul," instead of "To my pal, Paul," so he wrote a second autograph on one of the sheets he had there as well.

PAUL CASTIGLIA, AUGUST 17, 2009:

I’ll never forget meeting Sammy – he really was a wonderful fellow, very engaging and open to talking about “the old days” and in a way that was really interesting given that he is more “infamous” than “famous.” Sammy seemed to accept his role as a show business anomaly without a hint of bitterness. In fact, I think he rather enjoyed the irony of it all. Everyone in show business should be as nice as Sammy was to me that weekend. He’ll be missed.

High Noonan

by Nick Santa Maria

OK students, what do Tommy Noonan, George O'Hanlon, Jerry Lester, Joe Besser, Mousie Garner, Frank Mitchell, Vince Barnet, and Doodles Weaver all have in common? Give up? Well, they all had a hand in what has to be one of the worst, and most fascinating "comedies" ever made.

If you haven't seen 1959's The Rookie, do whatever you can to get your maschochistic little hands on it as soon as possible. Directed by George O'Hanlon ("Joe McDoakes" himself), written by O'Hanlon and Noonan, and starring that anemic anachronism of a comedy team, Noonan and Marshall, this military comedy is sure to be a fave rave for all of you Third Bananites. Picture if you will a bumbling page (complete with ill fitting uniform) at a radio station (circa 1945) who gets his draft notice, but not before filling in for the Italian Chef of the airways. Noonan does a routine he previously performed in an earlier Noonan and Marshall appearance (Warner Brothers Starlift in 1951). The routine is about as funny as a colonoscopy done with a plumber's snake. He rants and raves in a bad Italian accent as he prepares a dish made up of every kind of liquor you can imagine. Of course, he gets more and more intoxicated as the routine wears on (...and on, and on) and we find ourselves wishing for Red Skelton to show up and save us with a bottle of Guzzler's Gin.

Now get this.....Noonan is drafted on the day the war ends, but the little schmuck wants to go anyway! Despite protests from his draft board, and complaints from the Pentagon itself, Noonan is granted his right to serve, even though the camp where he is to get basic training is about to close! This means that the entire staff has to forego their own discharges and stay to train Tommy Noonan (This also means that the film company gets to save money on extras dressed in fatigues.)! Some premise, right? Well, the sergeant in charge is none other than that Hollywood Square himself, singing straightman Peter Marshall. Peter is pissed, folks, because he is dying to get back to his girlfriend, starlet Julie Newmar (who has never looked sexier and is worth the price of admission all by her lonesome). Marshall even sings a horrible song about getting back to his baby....complete with vapid "rock and roll" guitars in support. Newmar has an unscrupulous press agent (the aggressively unfunny Jerry Lester) who is trying in the worst way (believe me) to create publicity for his amazonian charge. He decides that he will use the one recruit (who has gained quite a bit of publicity himself) for a contrived romance and marriage. This creates even more conflict between Noonan and Marshall and lots of fun for everyone but the audience.

Why did a major studio like Fox release this piece of garbage? Where they desperate at the time? Did they lose a bet? (I also recently got a hold of another late 50's Fox release, Space Master X-7, directed by Ed Bernds, produced by Norman Maurer, and featuring Moe Howard in a character role!!! Yipes!) The beauty part of the film are the appearances of what I like to refer to as the "desperate comedians". "Desperate Comedians" are those poor souls who'd outlasted the days of real comedy films and waited around for people like Tommy Noonan, or Jerry Lewis to throw them a bone. Frank Mitchell plays a ships' captain and has absolutely nothing comical to do. Mousie Garner is wasted in a bit as a waiter. Doodles Weaver does a very bizarre spoof of Walter Winchell, actually removing Winchell's famous fedora to reveal his head to be shaped that way underneath (It's the best gag in the film). Joe Besser is a sadistic soldier who wants Noonan to be killed so he can be himself can be discharged. At one point the sloppy filmmakers show Besser sitting in his undershirt with the other soldiers as he is smoking a cigarette. Perhaps I'm a purist but "Stinky" does not smoke! He looks like a tough auto mechanic on a break. The image is like seeing Shirley Temple rolling the dice in a crap game. And let us not forget about Jerry Lester. If Harry Ritz and Mickey Rooney had a child it would have been Jerry Lester. Nuff said.

Now to Noonan and Marshall. Apparently, they were a sporadic team in the clubs who would work together, but only when Noonan wasn't doing various film roles. You may have seen him in the Judy Garland version of A Star is Born, or as Marilyn Monroe's nerdy boyfriend in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. He wasn't bad, either. But as the "Jerry" half of this Martin and Lewis wannabe team he is merely pathetic and annoying. The team does routines in a fast talking double act kind of way, but the nightclub routines stand out like a sore thumb. The jokes are ancient and the delivery is soulless and a little too polished to be passed off as actual dialog. To see Noonan and Marshall try to incorporate their "routines" into the film makes me marvel at the seamless way Abbott and Costello did the same thing. To make matters worse, as if there weren't enough Noonan and Marshall, they are introduced as two completely different characters (Gulp) later in the film. They portray two stupid, goggle eyed, buck toothed Japanese soldiers who don't know that the war is over. The American Noonan and Marshall meet the Japanese Noonan and Marshall on a deserted island and when you are not wincing at the depiction of the Japanese stereotypes (Even Jerry Lewis would have been embarrassed.) you are wondering how much longer the film is going to go on before some kind of satisfying ending presents itself. (Did I say "satisfying"?)

There are even jokes about having to go to the bathroom while being forced to stand at attention and salute an officer, lots of wiggling and cleavage from Julie Newmar, and even throwing up on the high seas.....but these only come off as precursors to the gags featured in Noonan's two "smut-fests", Promises, Promises, and Two Nuts in Search of a Bolt (both of which also should be seen to be believed.) a few years later.

Noonan and Marshall made one more film together, Fox's Swingin' Along (1961). Barbara Eden is the bombshell in this one, and it was directed by comedy veteran, Charles Barton (My eyes are peeled for this one, folks.). After that the boys went their separate ways. Noonan wrote, produced, directed, and starred in the afore-mentioned adult films and Marshall went on to become the host of The Hollywood Squares, occasionally appearing as a Vegas singer. Noonan passed away of a brain tumor at the age of 46.

Yes, they're gone folks, but the stench of their movie legacy lives on in the nostrils of comedy buffs everywhere. Thanks Pete and Tommy. You really set the bar and managed to make Brown and Carney look like comic geniuses. For that alone you should be in Ripley.

The Return of Pat and Patachon

Kudos to Erik Warming of Denmark for doing his part to reintroduce Pat and Patachon to the world via his new website and his permanent exhibition of memorabilia at the Tvermoesgaard Restaurant in Copenhagen! Can anyone spare me a ticket to Copenhagen?

The Olsen and Johnson Files

Capital Times, 6/5/28

Capital Times, 6/11/28

Capital Times, 5/23/30 A comedy team smorgasbord!

Capital Times, 5/25/30

Evening Huronite, 9/13/30

Wisconsin State Journal, 12/14/30

Wisconsin State Journal, 12/16/30

Syracuse Herald, 3/26/31

Syracuse Herald, 5/5/31

Havre (MT) Daily News, 8/1/31

Wisconsin State Journal, 2/24/35

Charleston Gazette, 5/5/36

Lowell Sun, 11/20/36

North Adams Transcript, 12/5/36

Mansfield News-Journal, 6/14/38

Syracuse Herald, 10/25/38

Reno Evening Gazette, 11/12/38

Evening Independent, 3/16/39

Winona Daily News, 9/9/65

The Terror-ific Third Annual Third Banana Halloween Anniversary Spooktacular Clip-O-Thon... The Third!

Excerpts from The Paul Lynde Halloween Special! I just think it's amazing that this even exists! KISS! Margaret Hamilton! Tim Conway! Billy Barty! KISS! Betty White! Donny and Marie Osmond! Billie Hayes!! KISS!! Truly one of the last gasps of old-style capital "S" Showbiz.





A rare Bela Lugosi appearance on an even rarer TV show, the 1949 video version of the radio classic Suspense. And check out the 35 year old Ray Walston!

The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet: Halloween Party



Excerpts from Capulina Contra Los Monstruos (1974)



Clavillazo in El Castillo De Los Monstruos (1957)











Eegah! (1962) "Watch out for snakes!"

Popeye in Fright To the Finish (1954). You know, if standard drug store vanishing cream really did make people invisible, I think everyone would be much more cavalier about invisible people..

And take a tip from the fine folks at Centron, kids, and have a safe and paranoid Halloween! Remember homemade Halloween treats? Remember fruit? Too bad there were all those all those poisonings and hidden razor blades and.. what? That didn't happen?

And here's Centron's 1985 edition of Halloween Safety. Ramp up the dread! Pour on the paranoia!! Die, Halloween, die!!! Christ.. by 1985, we even had to worry about carving the damn pumpkin!! "Getting my insides scooped out tickles me!"

The Harry Files, Part III, 1934-1944

Modesto Bee, 2/23/34

Oakland Tribune, 2/13/34

San Antonio Light, 11/20/34

Brownsville Herald, 11/20/34

San Antonio Light, 4/5/36

Nevada State Journal, 8/18/38. Previously, Harry was rumored to
be a possible replacement for Bert Wheeler during Bert's brief split
with Bob Woolsey. Now here he is filling in for Stan Laurel. If he had
lived past 1944, I'm sure he would have eventually been a rumored
fill-in for Lou Costello.

Titusville Herald, 8/20/38. Was Roach serious or not?

Edwardsville Intelligencer, 8/22/38

Ogden Standard-Examiner, 8/22/38

Kingsport Time, 9/2/38

Lowell Sun, 12/1/38

Oakland Tribune, 12/13/38

Frederick Post, 1/9/39

Helena Daily Independent, 1/10/39

Ironwood Daily Globe, 1/10/39

Olean Times-Herald, 1/10/39

Oakland Herald, 1/10/39

Fresno Bee, 8/22/39

Ogden Standard-Examiner, 11/26/39

Port Arthur News, 11/28/39

?, 12/?/41

Portsmouth NH Herald, 12/17/41. I Cover the Waterfront
is Double Trouble's supporting feature.

News-Palladium, 12/22/44

Amarillo Daily News, 12/23/44